Picky Eaters Are Mostly Made Not Born That Way
added 11/01/10
Children naturally want to grow up and get more skilled with everything they do- from crawling to walking and talking – and eating. Internationally known and respected dietitian, Ellyn Satter has developed guidelines that she calls the “Division of Responsibility in Feeding”. These guidelines, developed for toddlers through teens, nurture this innate desire to grow and mature with eating behaviors.
The guidelines are simple: The parent is responsible for the what, when, where of the food served to the child. The child is responsible for how much and whether or not to eat. This simple “Division of Responsibility” prevents mealtime arguments about eating one more bite or using dessert as punishment. They remove the parent from doing the children’s “job” of whether or not to eat. And it removes the child from a job she is not old enough to take on: when, where, and what to eat.
According to Satter: “Fundamental to parents’ jobs is trusting children to decide how much and whether to eat. If parents do their jobs with feeding, children will do their jobs with eating.” This trust leads to healthy eaters who listen to their body signals of hunger and fullness instead of whether the plate is clean.
Parents are responsible for:
- Selecting and preparing the food. Children don’t get to be junk food junkies or go on food jags since they are not the ones selecting what’s served for snacks or meals.
- Structuring regular times for meals and snacks. Close the all-day snack bar. This prevents the pickiness that comes from a full stomach in a child that’s been allowed to graze and snack freely throughout the day. Structured “sit-down” snack times between meal times assure that the child has enough to eat, but is still hungry at meals.
- Making eating times stress-free. Meal times are not the time to argue about cleaning your plate or not getting dessert. Nor is it time for tantrums. Tantrums mean they are spoiling the family meal and must leave the table and have a time out.
- Show children what they have to learn about food and mealtime behavior. Parents should present the food without force. Children don’t have to eat it if they don’t wish to, but cannot say derogatory things such as “Yuck” or “Gross”. Teach them to politely refuse food.
If parents do their jobs with feeding, these results will follow:
Children will eat the right amount for food for their needs
They will learn to eat the food their parents are eating
They will learn to behave well at the table.
More tips:
Pair familiar food with new foods at meals, then let your child pick and choose from what you put on the table. No short-order cooking or meals of only foods your child already accepts. Caving in to offering only familiar foods interferes with your child’s ability to be exposed to and eventually try new foods, on her own schedule. Some children may have to see, watch her parents eat, touch or taste a food 15 or 20 (or even more) times before they learn to eat it. Learning about new foods is a big deal to children. Imagine being on a strange new planet, offered foods from the natives that you had never seen before. Well, that’s sort of the situation your child is in. Give him time to acclimate.
Satter encourages parents to make it ok to try a food and spit it out, quietly, into a napkin, if the child feels he doesn’t want to swallow it. Teach your child to use a napkin to remove food from her mouth when she discovers she doesn’t want it. This “escape plan” will make him braver about trying new food.
For more info on preventing picky eating:
www.ellynsatter.com
